i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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