we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
