so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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