therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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