im having a threesome with these popsicles
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize