People in love make me want to vomit
lets start a swedish sibling band together
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize