Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
