I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
