Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
