he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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