I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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