Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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