You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
