she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
