My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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