Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
