and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize