O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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