i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
