Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
