Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
