Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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