he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
