I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
