Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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