ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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