Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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