he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize