oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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