its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
