shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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