Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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