There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
