Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
