boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
