i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
