ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize