Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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