I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
