My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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