i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he thought i was a dude.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
