do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize