I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
