It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
