so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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