Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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