considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
