Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
