i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
