I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
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