My hair reeks of homosexuality.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
