I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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