it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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