i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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