and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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