I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize