i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
