No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
are you so shy because you have an std?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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