my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
