I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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