in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
