the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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