We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
