yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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